18/33

Pretend like everything

Chronology

An American couple brings their 10-year-old daughter to her grandfather’s hotel in Italy to tell her that they are breaking up. Hoping to reunite them, she asks to celebrate one last Christmas together, even though it’s August… Lawrence Armanetti: And you two will accept it and act like you’re having a good time and just do what everyone else in the world is doing. I will write the first and possibly the last part of this terrible film.

What can go wrong?

Who was he incarnated on? It has characters who cheat on each other, and a girl who wants to spend Christmas in the Dolomites in August. “Local” children sound American. The hotel belongs to DeVito, and in his staff (as far as we can judge) there is one Irishman.

This is strange and stupid

And yet it looks like a four-star hotel. Huge!! Huge rooms, and only one guy and a dwarf look after them? How did they assemble such a cast for such a shocking film?

There is no charm in it

None. I can accept B-movies about Christmas with a returning local helping out at the bakery and a crush on a high school sweetheart who stayed there forever… plenty of those with enough charm to be at least better than that. I don’t understand Hollywood or its stars, because whatever they agree on, it should be in the contract to do just one take, pay all expenses (first class, of course) and pay enough to buy the real hotel they use for filming.

And don’t get me started on Kelsey Grammars crappy Christmas movie

There’s a lot to love about Hulu’s streaming offerings this month — look forward to new series premieres and favorite movies to watch at home.